I have, in my career, been contacted by 3 paranoid schizophrenics who believed I was trying to destroy and/or kill them.
One of them did however contact me to apologise for whatever it was he had done to deserve it.
Sometimes, someone in my family asks me what “success as writer” would look like for me.
This is pretty much as close a definition as I’ve ever heard.
Imagine floating in a sea of semi-functional autistic children, each with their own obsession. Now imagine you can choose which ones follow you around and talk at you—endlessly—about whatever that obsession happens to be. You can mix and match these autists at your whim, but sometimes the ones you keep close to you will hear something said by one of the others—one that you’ve chosen to ignore but is still back there, somewhere, even though you can’t hear it—and repeat it to you anyway, because they find it interesting. Tumblr is like that.
Me, describing Tumblr to my tech-neophyte uncle.
I’m really kind of proud of myself.
(Also: Hello, Tumblr homies. It’s been a while.)
Source: awesomebrainpowers
Because the premiere of Game of Thrones’ third season is the most important thing happening tomorrow, here is a supercut of all the profanity in seasons one and two.
Here is a pie chart of the breakdown:
Happy Season Three, everyone!
Writing, in my grad school application’s Statement of Purpose, “I’m not saying that I want to be a wizard, but let’s face it: It would be fantastic.”
Today in headlines that are, incredibly, neither satirical nor sensationalist.
“Virginia’s current revenues simply do not add up to a safe, efficient and sustainable transportation infrastructure network,” said Governor Probe, who clearly doesn’t understand how math works.
“What I’m going to do is remove a major source of revenue, then make it even more difficult for people who don’t want to give as much of their money to my campaign backers,” he added.
“I’m also going to raise the state’s sales tax, which disproportionately burdens the poor, because fuck you.”
Source: firstread.nbcnews.com
That is a real headline of a real news story that is real and in no way made up.
Above: Ambassador WK demonstrates his diplomatic prowess (photo via Stereogum)
I can’t smell like a gin mill, stupid—gin mills don’t smell like bourbon.
For your consideration:
Gobbled (/ˈgɒbəld/) adjective: The state of being deliriously tired, depleted, and/or lethargic—specifically from over-consumption of turkey and other Thanksgiving-related foodstuffs.
Example: I unbuttoned my pants and couldn’t manage to stand—not even to get more pie. I was so gobbled, the only clear course of action seemed to be to sleep on my grandmother’s couch. Forever.
See also: “turkey-drunk”.
